Jehovah Jireh

I haven't blogged in such a long time. Yet it's not because there's nothing to say, but rather, a lack of words to adequately express myself. So much has been happening these last couple of days. From getting accepted by ISV to go to costa rica for conservation work, to running around like puppy on a sugar-high liasing with workshop speakers for easter camp, to falling behind in school work to sprinting like there's not tomorrow to catch up with CBLs.. to matters of deeper intimacy that should not be published in public literature. . Yet in all this God has been The Jehovah Jireh - Provider. He does little things like making the bus come in time to get me where I was needed on time, yet late enough that I had time to dash into the shop to grab breakfast, a dinner cooked by a friend when I thought I was going to go without dinner for the night, providing replacement camp leaders the moment another pulled out, to even bigger things entirely out of my control like manipulating the school time table such that I had time for my friends.. and.. of course, teaching us all, forgiveness. But why is it that sometimes I still feel the need to prove my worth.. To justify my existence. That simply keeping quiet and doing my own thing will never get me anywhere in this world, academically and socially? God you've given me so much. Yet the one thing I desire, I have not. Teach me dear Lord, to trust. Or show me, that something greater that you've promised. Make this my prayer Lord -

Say the word

And I will live for you

Over oceans deep, I will follow

If each star was a song

And every breath of wind praise

It would still fail by far to say, all my heart contains

I simply live, I simply live for you.